Sedona Soul Adventures: the personal retreat, part 3

 

Immediately after my Orientation at the Sedona Soul Adventures offices, I drove a very short distance along Route 89 to my first session:

 

Radiant Heart Healing

 

I don’t know what Radiant Heart Healing is, but I am so pumped to begin my very first session of my first-ever personal retreat that I don’t even try to imagine what it is. All I know is, I have to pee.

 

Sher is standing in her front door as I pull up to her home. She has on a beautiful turquoise shawl and matching jewelry. She is radiant.

 

radiant heart healing

 

Sher hugs me. We both have to go pee. I get to use her beautiful bathroom attached to her therapy room and marvel at the tranquil decor. The hand soap she has smells amazing. I like it here. Sher returns from her bathroom and we hug again. I feel super happy and excited to begin.

 

With notebook in hand, Sher asks me some questions. I explain to her my estrangements, traumas, and feelings of loneliness. I feel comfortable enough to explain to her that I have always felt like not a real human being, that I’ve always felt myself to be more of a tool to use, like a crutch, and that this often results in me spending a great amount of time wishing to return “home” where I belong.

 

Sher was not surprised or taken aback by anything I said. In fact, she completely validated everything I said and invited me to lay down on her Reiki table so that she could help me let it go. We talked about angels and I told her that I know who my angels are. Sher asked me to invite my angels to participate.

 

I imagined roots coming from the bottom of my feet and grounding deep into the core of the Earth, where all the energy is purple and that purple energy comes up from the core of the Earth, through my roots, up into my feet and throughout my entire body. I am now grounded.

 

I imagined a white source light coming from above and straight into the top of my head, mixing the white light with the purple light until my entire body is my favorite shade of pink. I asked my angels what color the hurt is inside my chest cavity and they answered immediately: black. I can see my angels begin to help me release the blackness and it begins like a very difficult game of tug of war. The struggle is real.

 

Then, I silently gave my angels permission to take my pain away and the blackness began to shoot out of me like a geyser. I could actually feel the darkness leave my body. Effortlessly. You should’ve seen the expression on my angels’ faces. Priceless. They were so happy and proud of me.

 

Here comes the best part:

 

filling back up with divine love. I used mantras to do it: I am a child of God and have so much love, I am loved just as I am, I have enough love. A light begins to illuminate my empty chest cavity, empty now because the black is all gone, and this feels so strange–not heavy, but light.

 

The darkness is gone. I replaced it with light. This makes my angels clap; this is all they’ve ever wanted.

 

radiant heart healing

 

My angels are here because they love me. My angels want me to heal. To heal is to fulfill my life purpose. Sharing my healing through storytelling is my gift.

 

I suddenly felt like I had gotten it all wrong… When I hit my Complex PTSD rock bottom and began my healing journey I learned the principles of “name it, own it and let it go.”

 

I had vaguely heard of this concept before…

 

Name it–no problem.

Own it–already done.

Let it go…

 

Like…

 

How do you mean?

 

Let it go, like forget? Oh, I’m not like that…

 

Let it go, like don’t care?

 

I FEEL EVERYTHING!!!!!!

 

radiant heart healing

 

Sher blew the roof off of what I thought I knew when she told me that it’s actually:

 

Name it,

Own it,

Let it go,

AND FILL BACK UP WITH DIVINE LOVE

 

You have to replace what you remove in order to truly let go. I couldn’t let go of what I was holding because I didn’t have anything else to hold on to. It’s actually a 4-step process.

 

Sher invited me to ask my angels for help. I was able to close my eyes and ask my angels to fill me up with divine love. I straight up asked them and they were more than happy to point and shoot it right out and into me, just like the Care Bear stare!

 

radiant heart healing

 

My entire body was warm and vibrating, I had goose bumps everywhere and was smiling huge. So this is what having room for love feels like…

 

radiant heart healing

 

My love is real and I have access to it. I can both give and get love. I was able to FEEL all of this. I am still able to feel all of this, through Sher’s Radiant Heart Healing method.

 

Sher sat for half of the session with her arm around me and her other hand over my heart. No touch has ever felt so good. I never wanted it to end, so I sat very still, so at ease in our little love seat huddle.

 

I felt compelled to say: “I love you Sher, I don’t want you to ever stop hugging me.” And, like I already felt to be true, she admitted that she loves me, too.

 

Before I left, Sher gave me one of her books. I am reading it now and it is phenomenal.

 

Radiant Heart healing

 

During my retreat, I felt compelled to contact Sher about a grief-healing app I had invented in my head. I actually threw my app idea into the garbage can in my mind after day one of my retreat and then felt certain that I had to go fish it back out by day two. Sher invited me back to her house and let me pitch my app idea. She loved it. The iHeal will launch in the next few months.

 

In less than one month, I will travel back to Sedona for part one of my Radiant Heart Healing Certification Course.

 

XO,

Rachel

 

P.S. I have SO much more of this story to tell, so stay tuned! If you missed Part 1 (click here) or Part 2 (click here)!

Sedona Soul Adventure: the personal retreat, part 1

 

 

I have so much I want to say about my personal 3-day retreat with Sedona Soul Adventure.

 

Bear with me, I am a brand new person now.

 

It’s like the difference between this:

 

I’ve been uptight and made a mess,

But I’ll clean it up myself I guess

Oh, the sweet smell of success

Handle me with care.

~The Traveling Wilburys

 

and this:

 

I saw the sign

And it opened up my eyes

I saw the sign

~Ace of Base

 

Do you speak in song lyrics? I do…

 

I am a storyteller. This is part of my life purpose. I knew this and I did not know this. I know this now.

 

Let me back up. How did I end up going on a retreat? Great question. Well, as I told the angel guide over the phone, I’ve been crying in the bathtub–I mean–I want to know what my purpose is. What the hell am I even still doing here?

 

Let me back up some more. I was crying in the bathtub. Like just so sad. I felt like I had finally done it. I had successfully pushed everyone so far away, I would now be disconnected forever. Utterly alone. How?!! I was breaking up with me. I guess. Now I didn’t want to be by me. At all. It was just two weeks into my New Year’s Resolution to forgive myself and I wanted to strangle myself.

 

As I looked around the tub for Whitney and Bobbi Christina, I picked up my phone and googled the search terms: Sedona Retreat. Why? Because Sedona is almost a 5 hour drive from Vegas and I keep hearing about how inspiring it is to visit, like it’s a magical place or something. I also keep hearing about how creative women like to go on annual retreats to keep their inspirational juices flowing…the seed was planted within me some time ago. Sedona. Retreat.

 

The very first google search result was Sedona Soul Adventures. I clicked on it and discovered that the owner reminded me of me:

 

In January, 1999, Debra was a divorce attorney in Omaha, Nebraska, beginning her 20th year of practice. With 175 active cases, she was stressed out, burned out and ready to jump off the nearest cliff. Having been on her spiritual path since the death of her mother in 1978, Debra knew there was more. Although she was helping her clients in her practice, she yearned to be of service on a much deeper level.

 

Debra, you got my attention. I filled out the online form and then I called them because I could not wait to begin the process. I see myself as a recovering divorce attorney. I too yearned to be of service on a much deeper level. YEARN. As in, I don’t even want to be here if I’m not living my true purpose. Not knowing what my life purpose was, man that was kind of killing me.

 

The thought of leaving my son was at first unbearable. I wanted to quit before I even began. I knew that I could not go on feeling the darkness inside of me without it permeating to the rest of my family. I knew that I had to go. So I scheduled it. And then I got afraid and wanted to quit. And then I leaned into the discomfort.

 

My son’s main concern was a prophecy.

 

“Who is going to tell me stories?”

 

Daddy.

 

“Oh no, Mommy, you’re the best storyteller.”

 

Sedona Soul Adventure

 

I told the most epic stories to my son on FaceTime during my trip. I have the best stories to tell right now. I am an even better storyteller now than I was before I left. I have accomplished my New Year’s Resolution within the month of January. I forgave myself. I forgave everyone. I love myself. I know what my life purpose is.

 

I have so much more to say…bear with me.

 

XO,

Rachel